Critical Mass

So many things happen beyond our control in life that it can be overwhelming just to try to get through the day.  I have been living that chaos.  Actually, I have been allowing that chaos to control me and keep me from really living. Coping is not living.  I have been coping, and I have not even been doing that very well.  Today, I choose to stop that.  I choose to live.  Things in my life have reached "critical mass".  I have to change course before I self-destruct.  I have begun to do just that.  It is a slooowww process.  Agonizingly so, sometimes.  I don't pride myself on patience.  Not one of MY virtues. Baby steps. 


My first realization in changing course, was recognizing what I am missing. I have gotten off-track with a few things that help keep me sane. I need to take a deep breath, relax, and start over.  Actually,  a friend of mine would challenge my notion of "starting over". Not possible, he would say.  I disagree. If each day is a new opportunity, then I can start over with the things I have done before by doing them in a new way. Taking each day like a re-birth, therefore allowing me to start over. If it were starting "new", that implies I have no prior knowledge. Wrong. In starting over, I take what I learned from previous experiences and use that to do it a new way, hopefully changing the outcome.  We will see what his take on my thought process is, I'm sure!  Either way, I have decided a new approach is best, and that means change. It also means retrieving things from my life that I have let go astray that bring me happiness... and peace.  That is, ultimately, what I seek.  


That being said, I pick up my proverbial "pen" and re-introduce myself to my blog. Writing brings me a great peace.  I have many journals around my home, for different things and topics.  I have dusted them off as well.  I love to use pen and paper. It feels more personal. I feel like I am leaving more of me on the pages than in using a keyboard.  However, I enjoy the idea of a blog as well. A different medium and a different journey. I welcome them back to myself.  Another piece of peace re-claimed. I have achieved what I set to accomplish today.  One baby-step at a time.  

A Place For Peace

I had some thoughts that have resurfaced. This isn't the first time feeling this.  I have this desire to create a place that is a living testament to exactly what this blog is all about.  I want to create a space that allows myself and others to "be" peace.  Something small and intimate where someone can partake in a variety of things that are meant to help bring about a piece of peace to the individual participating.  I want it to be something that uses multiple mediums and ignites varied senses.  Smells, textures, tastes, sounds and sights that can assist us in reaching moments of peace.
People's lives are so busy that I believe we often neglect ourselves until things become critical.  At that point we then rush to find a fix. We hope to find something to make it better, and ignore the fact that it is a process that needs to be tended to regularly.  I want to assist others in doing just that.  Tend to themselves.  Like I stated in my opening blog, peace is a state of being.  I don't think most people realize that. It can't be found. It must be created.  I want to help people do that.  I believe that in doing this, I will benefit from it by creating some peace for myself in the process.  I have always felt so good within myself when I'm helping others.  Maybe a regular, large dose of my peace can come from helping others know it for themselves.  It just feels right.  I hope I can discover a way to make it real.  Making peace can feel so good!

The details are fuzzy, and my ideas random, but I feel like I should keep a list of them somewhere.

• space to meditate
• art and craft projects meant to encourage a peaceful state of mind (like creating mandalas, dream catchers, photography)
• music and books
• aromatherapy
• massage
• foods that heal; comfort foods
• garden

It feels right to want it to be similar to a bed and breakfast atmosphere.  Most people wouldn't be able to leave their daily lives for a long period of time to participate so a weekend or day/evening plan seems to make sense.
I don't know if this will happen, but I like thinking about it.  Ooooh... another piece/peace!

Its In The Little Things

I spent some time trying to figure out how I was going to go about this task of finding ways to have pieces of peace.  I need to find  ways to get snippets of that state of being free of conflict or troubles.  Feeling the pressure of daily life makes this a task that requires planning.  Oops.  There I go again trying to "search" for it.  This morning I had a realization.  
I woke up early and had to get all the kids up and ready to get going to the curling club.  All three are in a Bonspiel and we had to be at the club by 9am.  First things first.  The dog had to go out and do his thing.  I leave the warmth of my bed and made my way to the door to let him out into the back yard.  Everything was white!  Apparently there had been a light snow and frost overnight and our world was frosted with a layer of white.  It was breathtaking.  It stopped me in my tracks.  There was something in the contrast of the dark of the tree bark and the white of the covered branches...... It was peaceful.
I couldn't help but take pictures.  There was such a stillness in the air and in myself as I stared out the windows.  There was my "ah-ha" moment.  I didn't have to find it.  It was right there for me.  I just had to see it.  Feel it. Be it.  


When my senses came to, I realized that I had discovered a piece of peace.  I also knew that in photographing the moment, it was there for me to feel it again.  Bingo!  I am going to photograph as many moments of my peace as I can.  Anything that I encounter that lets me be in that state, even if only for a fleeting moment.  I can do that.  What a wonderful album that would be to browse through at times when I cannot find that state within myself.  Days when I just need a little help.  I think I may be on to something......

The Beginning

The only way to find peace, I've realized, is to stop looking for it.  It just isn't there to be found. It can't be found. You can search all you like.  Go ahead.  Don't take my word for it.  Let me know how that goes for you.  By all means, prove me wrong.  I DARE you.  In fact, I double-dog dare you!  Peace, like it or not, will not be found.  Why?  It's not lost.  You can only "find" what you've lost.  So, if you're looking for peace, stop it.  You cannot find what is not lost.  Peace is not lost.  We are.  
Webster's dictionary defines peace as "a state of tranquillity or quiet".  Okay.  So, what is tranquillity?  "The quality of state of being tranquil".  Gosh, thanks.  That really helps.  Fine.  Define tranquil.  "Free from agitation of mind or spirit".  Now we are getting somewhere.  Take this one step further. Agitate: "to excite and often trouble the mind or feelings of". 
I would have to say a clarified definition of peace is " a quiet state of being where mind and spirit are free from trouble or excitement".  Now it makes sense why we cant find it.  Peace is something we have to BE.  
It sounds so simple.  Be peace.  Be in a quiet state. Free myself from trouble and excitement.  My mind and my spirit at peace.  HA!  


How?


I need directions. I don't understand how to accomplish this.  There are hundreds of books out there on being happy, finding love, having the perfect relationship. Finding the right job.  I cant find a how-to book on being peace.  I'm not convinced it is a state anyone can be. At least not in a constant way.  A state of mind is a condition or stage of being.  That implies it changes.  Therefore, peace changes.  That being true, we would then need to reach that state of being again, and again, and so on.  


This revelation has prompted me to start creating ways to reach that state of being.  It is a journey of sorts.  I don't need to pack a suitcase, though that may be something I choose to do.  For now, I just need to figure out ways to "be".  What little things can I do to get glimpses of where I'm trying to go?