Flashlights and Neon Signs

The hardest part about starting over is figuring out how to start over.  There is no road map, and no guidebook.  There isn't even someone there telling you which way to go. It's feels like standing in the middle of a dark forest, and all you have is a little flashlight.  No matter which way you point it, it doesn't illuminate enough to help you know which way the road is.  All it shows you is the trees in your face, and the dirt at your feet.  You hear the noises, unfamiliar and undefined all around you.  So.... which way do you go?  Where IS everybody?

The forest can be a scary place when you're alone in the dark.  What I want is the neon sign with the big flashing arrow pointing "this way, dummy!"

I guess when I really think about it, I have had those neon signs a few times, and I ignored them.  Later, when I fell in a hole, I had time to think. I remember when I saw the neon, and smack myself.  DUH! I knew it all along!  Why didn't I believe myself?  Good question.  Why?  Why didn't I trust what I knew?

I think it's all a part of the whole plan. The scheme.  The big picture.  The puppet show we call life.  Its beyond what we can control, so we let it control us.  We feel helpless to stop the direction life is taking us so we sit back and coast along instead of standing up and yelling STOP!  Life is going to go whatever direction it is meant to, with or without our input.  We cant control it.  What we can control is how we chose to interact with our lives.  We can choose the path we walk.  Or we can choose to stand still.  We can close our eyes, we can cover our ears. We can change our minds and go with what feels easy or good at the time, or say no because we believe what we have right now is worth more attention. We can choose to try something new. We can choose to change nothing.  We can lie to ourselves and pretend for others.  None of it changes the path life leads.  It does, however, change how we lead our lives.

The neon signs are great for spotting something way off in the distance, and I look for them to be sure I'm still headed in the right direction.  Today, or any day, I would choose a flashlight first, so I can stop tripping over the shit at my feet and maybe get through the woods with a few less scrapes, bruises and broken parts.  Looking at the "big picture" gives us a goal, but seeing whats right at our feet gives us a better idea of what the next step is.

Stock up on batteries, my friends.  Its a big forest.